Men often feel at a loss as to how they can help.
When it comes to deciding what to do about the pregnancy a man will often respond when asked by his partner "Whatever you choose I'll support you."

Society has labelled the issues as 'A woman's right to choose' so men can feel as if they have no part in making a decision. Unfortunately the remark above, while meant to help actually can leave the woman feeling as if she has to make the decision alone.

Remember few women want to make any decision about their pregnancy without the support of their partner. Also remember that whatever you're feeling, your response to the situation will affect your partner.

What can I do?
• Find out what your partner is expecting of you in this situation.
• Many men feel at a loss about how to help their partner when facing an unplanned pregnancy. A first instinct is often to say, 'whatever you choose, I'll support you'. This sounds positive but your partner may interpret it to mean: 'The decision is yours. I'll go along with what you think. I don't want to take responsibility.' Whereas some women might welcome this attitude, some feel that the decision making process becomes more difficult as a result.
• Few women want to make a choice about a pregnancy without the support of their partner. Some couples pull apart and place the 'problem' between them. This can cause tension and conflict. Stand with your partner as much as you are able.
• Tell your partner, kindly, what you honestly feel about the pregnancy. Don't assume she knows what you think. Be clear but not pressurizing.
• Your partner has a right to make an informed decision - help her to look at all the information available on all the options.

Bear in mind that sometime a couple will respond to the situation by pulling apart and it can lead to a great deal of conflict and tension between them which ultimately will help no-one.

It's important not to make a rush decision so ensure you have all of the information you need about your option - parenting, adoption and abortion.

What are my rights?
• As a prospective father, even if you are married, you have no legal rights to prevent or insist upon abortion or continuing the pregnancy.

Who can help me?
• Whatever your circumstances, it is helpful to talk things through with someone outside of your situation. Call Choices to talk to a trained advisor confidentially or visit a pregnancy counselling centre with or without your partner.