CHoices Pregnancy Crisis

Pregnancy Crisis Centre

 

6 Market Place
Camelford
PL32 9PB

Tel: 01840 214124

07933788595 or 07514039896

info@choices-cornwall.co.uk

For Online Counselling with CAREconfidential click here

 

 

 

Untitled Document

"My teenage daughter's pregnant"

Pregnant Daughter

When you first find out that your teenage daughter is pregnant, it can feel as if the world is caving in. It can be a shock; a disappointment; an embarrassment. It feels as if all your hopes and dreams for her future are shattered.

How can I cope with my feelings? This is my worst nightmare...

Find someone you can talk to who is outside the situation. Perhaps you know someone who has already experienced something like this and has come through it well. You can also ring the CAREconfidential helpline on 0800 028 2228 to talk about how you are feeling. So as to be able to help your daughter, it's important that you look after yourself as well.

What do I say to my daughter?

    • Talking about it with a friend or CAREconfidential advisor means that when you talk with your daughter, you can be calm.
    • Remember that she is facing an overwhelming situation. She may not know what to do. She may be feeling very alone and uncertain, unsure of what you think of her. Put yourself in her position for a moment...
    • Show your daughter that you still love her - whatever. She may not know it - you have to say it!
    • Avoid blaming anyone for this situation.
    • Be willing to listen to her. Be respectful of her feelings.
    • Be prepared to tell other family members for her, so that they can love and support her, if she wants you to.
    • Help her to find out about all her options - parenting, adoption and abortion. Call CAREconfidential on 0800 028 2228 so that she can talk to a trained advisor and be referred to a pregnancy counselling centre nearby.

She's under 16. Can she have an abortion?

    • You may or may not want your daughter to have an abortion. It's important that you understand what's involved in all the options fully - not to make the decision for your daughter, but help her to find the best choice for herself. Abortion is not the easy quick-fix solution that it appears.
    • Although young people under 16 are not allowed to receive medical treatment without your consent under other circumstances, they are legally allowed to consent on their own behalf to any surgical or medical procedure or treatment regarding abortion if, in the doctor's opinion, they are capable of understanding the nature and possible consequences of the procedure.
    • It is obviously better for young people to have their parents' involvement for important decisions and doctors have an obligation to encourage the patient to involve their parents. Sometimes, however, young people do not want their parents to be informed and the doctor is advised that generally he should not go against the patient's views.

What about school?

    • Pregnancy doesn't mean your daughter's education is finished!
    • The Government makes it clear that pregnancy is not a reason for exclusion from school. In fact, the school should aim to keep your daughter in education and look after her progress.
    • Sometimes a head teacher says that the school is no longer a suitable environment for a pregnant teenager. Then everyone involved (pupil, parents, local education authority and/or Connexions/Sure Start Advisor) have to decide the best way to provide her education.
    • Sometimes, girls are more motivated about school as a result of a pregnancy!

From a Mum to a Mum...

"Don't lose hope in yourself or in your daughter. What seemed hopeless for us has been turned around. It's not been easy at times, but it's been worth it. I now have a wonderful relationship with my daughter and granddaughter. I couldn't be more proud of them."